Why Adoption

We always have had a love for children. About five years ago after a lot of testing, we found out we were unable to have any children biologically. It was hard for us to take right at first. It took a lot of prayer to learn adoption was for us. We understand it is a huge, hard decision. We felt adoption is Heavenly Father's plan for us and have felt his love through everything we have gone through. We would like to share one of our favorite quotes by Orson F. Whitney:

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer...when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God...and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven..."

We are grateful for all the strength and faith we have gained through the experiences we have experienced. We needed to find the right way for our children to come to our family; which is through adoption. We have been blessed and have felt peace ever since we have decided adoption is right for Chad and I. Schaffer has been such a blessing to our little family, and we are grateful to be on our way to finding a sibling he will adore.

Adoption Reflection


I am not much of a writer, and I mostly post pictures. I felt it was appropriate to reflect on the adoption process that lead us to our little miracle.
We will be finalizing the adoption January 4, 2010!

We began to consider adopting in the beginning of 2007. Once we got to the point of actually putting our foot into the door, it was harder than we thought it would be. Going to that first meeting, paying our first fee, and knowing it may take anywhere between 4 months to 4+ years was hard to take. We came into this process very emotional and we were a little fearful of the birth parents. What is fear? Being afraid or feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible situation. We had never experienced this before and didn't know what to expect. It is amazing to me how much our feelings have changed as we progressed through the process. Birth Mothers are amazing and have so much strength. The relationship I have with them is so important to me.

We attended six classes at BYU that were mandatory. They were worth it! The paperwork was piled high and our profile was being completed. It is hard knowing you will be looked at and judged by your age, your looks, your religion, your talents and hobbies, pretty much everything. Writing the birth parent letter was probably one of the hardest things in the beginning. It is hard because you do not know the birth mother personally and she may have not even decided that placing for adoption is what she wants to do. It is also hard to write this letter because those that are reading it are going through one of the hardest decision they will ever make. It is amazing to me these women that look past themselves and think of their little one.

Once you are approved, you let everyone, I mean EVERYONE know that you are in the adoption process because word of mouth is how it works the best. Our case worker insisted that we tell every single person we knew. We sent out emails, posted it on facebook and myspace, we made phone calls, and even sent many snail-mail letters out. The best thing to have while going through the adoption process is love and support. You need this from family and friends. Chad and I had so much support from those around us. We gained friendships from just going through this. The adoption process can either weaken or strengthen a relationship. Chad and I are closer today than we were before. Chad strengthened me when I was weak.
Adoption to us means:
A - Appreciation
D- Dream
O- Openness
P- Prayer and Patience
T- Trust
I- Important
O- Option
N- Nurturing

June 2009, We were matched with our Birth Mother - M. She looked through many profiles since February 2009 and was not finding a family that fit. M began to look at our profile and had decided she wanted to have a phone conference. I was able to talk with her over the phone and you could only imagine how I felt inside while talking to her. M mentioned she prayed through every profile she would look through and once she came to us, she felt comforted. She expressed that she wanted a family that was close and supportive. She wanted a couple that loved one another and was religious. M expressed she cared deeply for her baby boy, but knew she could not provide what he needed. After talking on the phone for about 10 minutes our conversation ended. I sat around waiting for 30 minutes for our caseworker to call; which felt like an hour. Once she called she shared the news: M loved our profile,
enjoyed our conversation, felt comforted and had decided to match with Chad and I. My heart was full of excitement, yet a piece of me was putting up a wall to block my heart. Chad and I had been through too many matches and placements that had fallen through. Everyday the adoption agency would reassure us that M would not change her
mind, but if you could only imagine how hard that must be to love a child that much and to place for adoption unselfishly. Knowing you cannot provide for this baby and looking past your wants and placing him in the arms of another.

We met three different times for lunch and were at the hospital the day he was born. We were able to chat with M for a couple hours before she wanted rest. Honestly, it was hard to imagine before placement that everything was going to work out. Hearing M say "Come hold your baby," and seeing her actions expressed with so much love meant a great deal to me. She was meant to be our birth mother and we will be grateful for her ALWAYS.

At placement, M handed our little miracle to us and placed her head in her hands as her eyes filled with tears. I felt as if we were ripping her heart out of her chest. I wanted to sit down beside he bed and hold her tight as she cried, but we were asked to leave so she could sign the paperwork. M felt that the goodbye wasn't good enough and asked to have lunch before she flew home. We met the day she was flying home and had a wonderful Goodbye. I am truly grateful for her unselfish love. She is an example to me and always will be.
"We go through what we go through to help others go through what we went through" - Unknown
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CHAD

AGE: 31
HAIR: Light Brown
EYES: Hazel
HEIGHT: 6'1"
JOB: Office Manager
HOBBIES: Writing, Singing, Lacrosse, Soccer, Reading, Hiking, Boating, Traveling

Chad is a easy going guy with a lot of patience. When things get hard he is always the one to let you know everything will be okay. He is the youngest of six children and continues to stay close to each sibling and his Mom and Dad. He is determined in everything that he does and is on his way to get a book published. Chad really enjoys animal behavior and would love to study African animals. Chad enjoys being surrounded by children and usually ends up out in the playing field with them. At family reunions or get togethers, he is quite popular with all the young cousins and nieces and nephews. He loves to watch British Comedies; which he believes to be hilarious. He enjoys any movie with a lot of action. Chad is very talented in his acting, singing and dancing. That is what started the attraction between the two of us. He has one of those voices that will melt a ladies heart. Chad loves to travel and has made it a goal to get back and visit Portugal and Africa. His family is orginally from Florida, so they made it a yearly ritual to visit Walt Disney World after they moved away. He spends a lot of his spare time in the yard when the weather is nice. He is always wanting to make our home a better place. Chad is full of ideas and always willing to go out and try something new. He is a kindhearted, sweetheart, and never once have I seen him yell.
TINA

AGE: 28
HAIR: Dark Brown
EYES: Blue
HEIGHT: 5'4"
JOB: Piano Teacher
HOBBIES: (Music), Singing, Dancing, Piano, Scrapbooking, Organizing, Hiking, Swimming, Basketball, Traveling
I am someone who wants to befriend everyone. I know at times I cannot, but seeing someone sitting alone breaks my heart. I would rather go and talk with them. I have graduated in Elementary Education mainly because the typical answer, I love children. I used to not like to read very much and had to work very hard in school to get good grades. This is another reason I wanted to help children succeed. My patience with children has grown with teaching piano and I am able to let children explore new things and making a mistake without getting inpatient. I have my hobbies, but I am always up for trying something new. Even if I am not very good at something, I am always willing to give it a try. I have participated in many musical productions and have most enjoyed it with my husband, Chad. Music is a big part of my life and has been since I was small. Both of my parents are musical and I grew up having a family band. My first solo was at the age of three at the fairgrounds. I am the youngest of five children and am very close to all of my siblings and my parents. As of right now I teach piano lessons and would love to start voice lessons. Chad and I both love to direct youth musical productions together. Two years ago we directed "Aladdin," and at the beginning of 2009, we directed "Willy Wonka." At night I love to eat popcorn and snuggle with Chad to watch, "Bones," and "Amazing Race."
AGE: 16 Months
HAIR: Dark Brown
EYES: Brown
HEIGHT: 32"
JOB: To entertain his Mommy and Daddy
HOBBIES: Walking, Playing, "Reading," Laughing, Eating, Talking
Schaffer is loved and adored by everyone and that is not an exaggeration. He loves to have all the attention on him. If it is not, he will laugh really loud until others are looking. When other children or babies are in the room, he tries to be involved. He watches older kids run around and you can tell he just wants to be a part of it. He loves both his mommy and daddy. Mommy is home all day with Schaffer so she is able to play, read, teach and give him all the love he wants. Because Mommy plays piano and teaches piano, Schaffer wants to play the piano too. Schaffer is a Daddy's boy! He absolutely loves his Daddy! When Daddy comes home from work, he is all smiles and reaches out to be held. Schaffer loves to swim as long as he can make a big splash, even in the bath tub. We know Schaffer would love to have a sister or a brother. He has many cousins to play with, but being able to have another child around that doesn't have to leave to go home would bring him so much joy.