Adoption Process

2010-07-25T16:51:00.000-07:00

Chad and I wanted to announce as of August 2010, we have begun the adoption process again. Our paperwork is done and our profile is complete. We ask ourselves.. "are we really ready for this emotional roller coaster again?" We know Schaffer would adore a sibling, he LOVES other children and cannot get enough of them when they are in the room. We felt the time was right for us to begin again because it may take another 3-4 years, maybe sooner, but you never know.

Adoption Reflection

2009-12-23T18:18:00.001-08:00

I am not much of a writer, and I mostly post pictures. I felt it was appropriate to reflect on the adoption process that lead us to our little miracle.

We will be finalizing the adoption January 4, 2010!

We began to consider adopting in the beginning of 2007. Once we got to the point of actually putting our foot into the door, it was harder than we thought it would be. Going to that first meeting, paying our first fee, and knowing it may take anywhere between 4 months to 4+ years was hard to take. We came into this process very emotional and we were a little fearful of the birth parents. What is fear? Being afraid or feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible situation. We had never experienced this before and didn't know what to expect. It is amazing to me how much our feelings have changed as we progressed through the process. Birth Mothers are amazing and have so much strength. The relationship I have with them is so important to me.

We attended six classes at BYU that were mandatory. They were worth it! The paperwork was piled high and our profile was being completed. It is hard knowing you will be looked at and judged by your age, your looks, your religion, your talents and hobbies, pretty much everything. Writing the birth parent letter was probably one of the hardest things in the beginning. It is hard because you do not know the birth mother personally and she may have not even decided that placing for adoption is what she wants to do. It is also hard to write this letter because those that are reading it are going through one of the hardest decision they will ever make. It is amazing to me these women that look past themselves and think of their little one.

Once you are approved, you let everyone, I mean EVERYONE know that you are in the adoption process because word of mouth is how it works the best. Our case worker insisted that we tell every single person we knew. We sent out emails, posted it on facebook and myspace, we made phone calls, and even sent many snail-mail letters out. The best thing to have while going through the adoption process is love and support. You need this from family and friends. Chad and I had so much support from those around us. We gained friendships from just going through this. The adoption process can either weaken or strengthen a relationship. Chad and I are closer today than we were before. Chad strengthened me when I was weak.

Adoption to us means:

A - Appreciation

D- Dream

O- Openness

P- Prayer and Patience

T- Trust

I- Important

O- Option

N- Nurturing

June 2009, We were matched with our Birth Mother - M. She looked through many profiles since February 2009 and was not finding a family that fit. M began to look at our profile and had decided she wanted to have a phone conference. I was able to talk with her over the phone and you could only imagine how I felt inside while talking to her. M mentioned she prayed through every profile she would look through and once she came to us, she felt comforted. She expressed that she wanted a family that was close and supportive. She wanted a couple that loved one another and was religious. M expressed she cared deeply for her baby boy, but knew she could not provide what he needed. After talking on the phone for about 10 minutes our conversation ended. I sat around waiting for 30 minutes for our caseworker to call; which felt like an hour. Once she called she shared the news: M loved our profile,

enjoyed our conversation, felt comforted and had decided to match with Chad and I. My heart was full of excitement, yet a piece of me was putting up a wall to block my heart. Chad and I had been through too many matches and placements that had fallen through. Everyday the adoption agency would reassure us that M would not change her

mind, but if you could only imagine how hard that must be to love a child that much and to place for adoption unselfishly. Knowing you cannot provide for this baby and looking past your wants and placing him in the arms of another.

We met three different times for lunch and were at the hospital the day he was born. We were able to chat with M for a couple hours before she wanted rest. Honestly, it was hard to imagine before placement that everything was going to work out. Hearing M say "Come hold your baby," and seeing her actions expressed with so much love meant a great deal to me. She was meant to be our birth mother and we will be grateful for her ALWAYS.

At placement, M handed our little miracle to us and placed her head in her hands as her eyes filled with tears. I felt as if we were ripping her heart out of her chest. I wanted to sit down beside he bed and hold her tight as she cried, but we were asked to leave so she could sign the paperwork. M felt that the goodbye wasn't good enough and asked to have lunch before she flew home. We met the day she was flying home and had a wonderful Goodbye. I am truly grateful for her unselfish love. She is an example to me and always will be.

"We go through what we go through to help others go through what we went through" - Unknown

A few important things to know about us

2009-04-07T10:45:00.000-07:00

1. Families are important to the both of us. Chad and I have great relationships with our families. We both are close to our parents and siblings. We would be nowhere without them. We see them as often as we can and we have many family outings. A family that plays together, stays together.

2. A PROMISE that we would give to your child would be PATIENCE, GUIDANCE, DISCIPLINE, FORGIVENESS, FAITH, and most importantly, OUR LOVE.

3. We have a strong belief and faith in God. Our lives are centered around God. We know that he has a plan for each of us and despite our weaknesses he is always there with out-stretched arms. His love is especially there when we are making our hardest decisions.

4. Education is very important to us as well as seeking out our talents and interests. We ourselves are open to try many new things to develop new interests and talents. And while doing so, are okay with making mistakes and not being the best at everything.

5. Chad and I have a love for Music. We both sing, and dance. I have taken piano for many years and now teach piano. Chad and I love soccer, basketball, and lacrosse. We have a huge love for the outdoors and are always finding new adventures.

6. We would love to discuss things, answer any questions, or even meet you. We would love to get to know you better and feel free to contact us anytime at TinaandChad2003@gmail.com

Blessings of Adoption

Adoption Process

Adoption Reflection

A few important things to know about us